Okay guys, life update…
Written October 1st, 2025 - Entry: Seven
Category: Update
So, I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop at approximately 11:48 a.m. I just had brunch with this sweet lady from my parents’ church who watched me as a kid on Sundays. I won’t explicitly say her name, but just know she is the cutest lady from Chile. She’s shorter than me and I’m 4’11” lol, and she has the sweetest Spanish name. I had set up the brunch with her to talk about fundraising for my ministry and instead got abundantly more in wisdom, reminders, life, and similar stories than I could have ever asked for. She lived in Chile until she was 19, survived the largest earthquake ever recorded, and lost her parents from it at the age of 8. She was adopted into a family of missionaries and later married a man who had an affair while they were together. But through all of that she has been given a wonderful son, who gave her her beloved grandchild, Carolina (who calls her “Lita,” short for Abuelita). She experienced freedom in Christ in America and has been living her life as God has been the potter and she the clay, as He molds and mends her for His name to be carried and known.
I had been struggling with my own story of adoption, being proud of how I looked and where I came from. She so effortlessly poured into me with similar experience and understanding of God’s divine purpose. I was handpicked, selected, chosen. God made no mistake with my story. He blessed me with the parents He designed to take care of and love me.
Anyway, this is supposed to be a little life update, so as you can see I just made it as current as possible. Right now I’m in flow writing, so I hope I don’t lose it (though I don’t know if flow is ever truly lost, but that’s another tangent). As I write, I’m also allowing the current of life to take me.
So my life has looked like a lot of support meetings, some good, some bad, some convicting, and some offensive, that required me to look into my own spiritual walk and be forced to change my views because of what Jesus was showing me.
I’m currently at 63% of my monthly support raised for my ministry. For those of you who aren’t familiar with support raising, I am raising a livable salary through donors to be able to carry out the mission on my life.
To be vulnerable (which I normally am if you know me, but I struggle to tell the internet): I nearly lost my best friend because of something I did, I visited my college last weekend and realized it’s no longer my place, I live at home and am adjusting to being under my parents’ roof again, I miss some people from my past, I took a job that is very much against the grain of society, and every day feels like a new joy or the next burden.
Throughout this time I’ve struggled with the lie of believing I am behind. Clearly, I know I am not. Not to compare myself to others, but just to bring in some empathy: I’ve had two friends already quit the jobs that their whole college lives worked up to. I have a friend going back to school to become a nurse. I have a couple of friends working in low-paying but fulfilling Christian church jobs. I have a friend internationally doing work-trade. I have some friends in corporate 9-to-5’s. Some are just trying to save up money to do something else, or until they can get married or start a family. And some are doing the jobs they signed up for and are well pleased. One thing I do know is that even if any of us think we have it all figured out, in a couple of years we’ll realize we do not. And the cycle will repeat. :)
It’s funny to say, but all the older people in my life love to remind me: “Do it while you’re young.” “You have so much time ahead of you.” “Enjoy life while you can.” “He’ll walk into your life when the time is right.”
Aside from that, I believe in God’s wisdom. I choose not to wish away the present but to keep my feet planted exactly where He has them. I know I wrote a lot about the stuff in my life that seems overbearing, but to be honest, I kind of love it. I love living life so deeply that the chances I take create pushback. I love that wealth, status, and worth in others have taken less priority as God lowers me to make more room for Him.
I love the unknown. I love not having a map of my life already written out where I can see it. What’s crazy is that’s actually the biggest reason it took me so long to fully surrender everything to God. I loved not knowing what was next and not having answers, because it brought an artistic mystery that pulled me in to keep wondering. But in that phase of my life, I was lost, empty, and constantly aware something was missing. What I’ve come to realize is that God doesn’t take away that childlike unknown. He adds to it. The mystery with God doesn’t disappear when you know Him; it deepens. And the unknown actually shifted from a false freedom and fear to commit, to a daily devotion of stepping out in faith for something I may have to die to before I can fully see. (Longer breakthrough on that later.)
Lastly, here are some things I’ve done while being home:
I created this blog.
My dad and I made art yesterday. He drew a ’79 Trans Am (car) and I colored it.
I saw my friend Wyatt a couple of times and made some fat jokes about him (he’s not fat). He also tried to teach me how to play the drums.
I cried yesterday during a young adult service at how thankful I was for Jesus. I cried today because of hormones and the resilience raising money requires. But it was good because I hadn’t been able to cry for a while.
I’ve spent nearly every day with my best friend from 6th grade, Kelsey. We went camping and got bit by spiders, went to a couple of football games, drank Rooster Boosters, and snotted from laughing so hard.
I struggled with some past sin, repented, and am trusting the Lord in all the patience I can muster.
I got coffee with a girl also adopted from China, and we talked about our unique stories from the same experience.
I’ve had breakthroughs about Christian hedonism, how our handwriting mimics the art we create, suffering from old heartbreak, and strategy for reaching minority language groups for Christ.
I’ve spent a lot more time alone, and have been reflecting in nature, at home, and while running, etc.
To finish this update, I am still raising support, still hanging out with friends and family, and still trusting the Lord every step of the way.
